by Friendships should lift us up, but sometimes they do the opposite.
Between packed schedule, endless task lists and life that constantly draws us in different directions, it is easy to miss the warning signs that a friendship is not as balanced as it should be.
And although it is natural for relationships with the ebb and river, it can be too long to stay in a dynamic that is not mutually, demand a real tribute, resentment, blurred boundaries and even slide in something toxic.
In order to recognize you when a friendship may no longer serve you, we spoke to a consultant who shared the most important signs for which we should pay attention to.
Signs that are in a one -sided friendship
Do not check intentionally
The British Association for Consulting and Psychotherapy and Consultant Ragini JHA explains that friends have to do more than occasionally sending a text for checking in.
“One of the more subtle signs would be an emotional intelligence, which means not only asking questions, but also asking the right questions and reminding important data,” she says of Yahoo UK.
“For example, if you have a big presentation. It is not enough to just say: ‘How are you?’ Every few weeks remember the important things in your life.
If you stay in a one -sided friendship, you can recharge your resentment. (Getty Images)
Do not celebrate their victories
JHA says it is crucial that friends celebrate the success of the other, and not just traditional events such as weddings and baby types.
“It is important to celebrate other large milestones, be it for work, graduation or just the feeling that the person is something special,” she says.
“I think especially for women there is pressure to only celebrate things that are related to a bridal shower or a baby shower or a bachelor. It is celebrated very differently than if you get an action.
“Many people don’t necessarily do it on purpose, but that happens in the end. The money that is spent, or the effort that is put into these things is not always balanced.”
If you are often the only one who celebrates your friend’s achievements-or if there is a noticeable gap between the effort as you moisten you, in contrast to what you receive in return, this is a strong sign that friendship is one-sided.
Friends should celebrate occasions that are not just baby parts and weddings. (Getty Images)
Leave behind
One of the more subtle signs of an unbalanced friendship is to leave behind, which can often happen when two people are in different phases of their lives.
“You may have some friends who marry and some who still graduate or make their doctoral students,” continues JHA.
“This is something that I hear about many of my customers that many of their friends do not make sure they still feel part of their lives or that they have left themselves in any way.”
Your advice? Try to create common goals, e.g. B. reading the same book or the same training to operate a 5 km value to keep it on the same side.
Feel ignored
Make sure that you feel consistently ignored or whether the person does not appear for you.
“You may not notice it at the moment,” says JHA. “And then you look back and then you notice: ‘Actually, this person wasn’t there for me at all or at least not as I have for them.'”
They work around them
Jha says it is important to notice whether you do the following:
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Keep your real feelings back
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Keep a lighter version of yourself to keep peace, as friendship feels safer if you do not ask for “too much”,
What to do when friendship is unbalanced
Find out what you need
JHA recommends finding out what you need from a friendship, as this helps you to determine whether the relationship is worthwhile.
“Do you find out what you feel interested in. In what times were your efforts returned?” She asks. “Because they cannot look for new relationships until they know what they actually want.”
If your friend does not respond well to a conversation, it can be time to end the relationship. (Getty Images)
Talk about
“As soon as you have found out what you want, I think that this is a great conversation with your friends,” says Jha.
“What does she take care of? Ask you: ‘What can we do to make things more consistent? How can we involve each other a little more in our everyday life?'”
According to the consultant, the problem with “Friendships” is that they only summarize their lives together instead of having meaningful conversations. This is when it feels one -sided.
She adds: “Find your needs and make sure that you know that you also have needs.”
Consider end the relationship
“If this conversation is not well received or if you really feel like you are one -sided and don’t see it,” I don’t have time for it “, this is not a real problem.”
Make sure you think about whether you are going through something in your personal life – like a mourning or a new baby – but if you are not, JHA concludes: “See how you get this feedback and whether you are willing to participate in this conversation and whether you are not, it is definitely time to end it.”
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